Wednesday, June 29, 2005

EC:WC FCA Review - The Life Aquatic

A West Coast Critic Review:

I never thought I would ever say this next sentence. This Bill Murray movie is completely unfunny.

I just spent the last 118 minutes watching film stock that left me emotionally unmoved in any way. It doesn't even deserve to be called a bad movie because a really bad movie would make you chuckle at the lameness of it all. There wasn't even a moment that was unintentionally funny. There was nothing to make me cry one sappy tear. Not one piece of action to make me even wince slightly in awe. What's so mindboggling is that it's so weak even with a cast that includes Angelica Huston, Cate Blanchett, Owen Wilson, Willem Dafoe, Jeff Goldblum and Michael Gambon. This movie is so vacuous that MST3K couldn't even successfully parody the poor thing. It's THAT bad.

This isn't even worth one of my usual five wine bottles. This vapid, mind numbing, brain cell reducing DVD is barely worth 1 corroded cork. (Oh no, Mr. Bill!)

.... bad.... just.... just.... that bad.

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