Sunday, April 30, 2006

So... you say you're giving 110%, huh?

I got this from a friend, and I laughed my a** off. The whole "I gave it 110%" phrase has always been one of my pet peeves. So, without further ado...

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What makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:

If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:

K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

and

H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

But,

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

And,

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.

A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that while Knowledge and Hard Work will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it's the Bullshit and Ass Kissing that will put you over the top.
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